Turmoil by Sarah Strutt

Climb to my feet hit the ground with a thud

world of magpies when in search of a dove.

A smile on my face but my heart is misplaced

fingers on my pulse unable to find a trace.

My mind inflicts pain my thoughts contaminated.

My skin the book of life using my scars I illustrated.

Ashamed of the person who resides behind my name

enraged that, for my hurt, no one on whom I can place blame.

Like I live life squeezing tight the Devil's hand

my thoughts and feelings a result of his command.

The brutal beating that bears no bruises

the voice that belittles judges and accuses.

Losing faith in the few that remain

the unwell brain once again is beginning to reign.

I’m judging your actions, judging your words

searching for motives behind what I’ve heard.

Declaring your love sharing how much you care

yet in my mind I am convinced that soon you’re no longer be there.

Sarah Strutt writes poetry about her life experiences mostly relating to her diagnosis of borderline personality disroder and the loss of her sight. She has experienced self harm and suicide attempts and likes to use her poetry as a way of connecting with other people who may be in a similar situation. It is her aim to reach as many people as possible to convey a message of hope and to reach out for help.